Serenity NOW!

The ominous green glow of tornado skies foretold the impending tragedy that promised to arrive that day.

I woke up at 7:30--one full hour after my alarm clock started blasting Bone Thugs N’ Harmony on a continuous loop.

It’s the first of the month/wake up wake up wake up.

I rolled out of bed reluctantly and hit the floor with a loud thud.

‘What the hell happened last night?’ I thought, as I hoisted myself off the floor and onto the bed. Then I remembered; Toyosi…that bitch...and his poor wife, that's who I felt sorry for. What the fuck was he thinking, trying to make a pass at me? I would kill him again if I had the chance. I had been used all my life and I refused to let a little fag like him take advantage of me. And then there was the bar I went to afterwards. Shit, did I get drunk? I never remember things when I drink.

‘But did I get rid of the body?’ I suddenly thought, a short wave of panic paralyzing me for a moment. ‘Eh, whatever. That bitch got what he deserved. His brains can rot all over that fucking couch for all I care.’

Then just as suddenly as the thought had arrived, I was jolted back to the present by a deep but feminine voice that sleepily asked from the bed, “Baby, are you okay?”

I turned around quickly, first noticing the blue spider web-like veins that created a convoluted maze across his chest, and then the flat breast that weren’t quite breast. My eyes traveled across his body--completely ignoring his dick--all the way down to his feet, where I noticed not one, but two pairs of feet. There was no way that what I was seeing was real. There was no way that these two men had spent the night with me. I’m not fucking gay!

“Who the fuck are you and what the hell are you doing here?!” I yelled, ignoring the pounding headache that threatened to break my head apart. Then I reached under my pillow for my glock. “Why are you here and what did you do?” By now they were both very alert and the fear and confusion in their eyes made my blood curdle.

“What do you mea…baby please don’t, it’s us. Baby you always pick us up when you come to the bar,” one said. Then from the other, “Wait, please….please…you don’t remember last night? Maybe because you were drunk. You picked us up from the bar and…” But I never did give him the chance to complete his sentence. I blew two clean holes straight through their hearts, whispering to them, “I ain’t no fag.”

At that point, I was no longer on earth; I was now in a place beyond anyone’s comprehension. Cloud nine, or cloud ten, hell, even eleven. Either way, I was floating; I had reached my breaking point, which would explain why I gently tucked my glock away and began my morning regimen, completely ignoring the four dead eyes that seemed to follow my every step as I slowly and methodically got ready for work.

Of course I eventually decided not to go to work, but if you asked me that morning if I gave a shit I would have probably shone you the biggest grin ever and told you to fuck off. That’s how things were now; I could hardly give a fuck. I was on a natural high and I didn’t want it to go away.

I stepped out and onto Serenity Avenue. Looking down my street, it still amazed me how I ended up there, having grown up in three loveless foster “homes” on fourth street--not including that of my mother--Cece…Clara, or whatever the hell that crack whore calls herself. But I did it all by myself. No one was there when I, at the tender age of seven, suffered sleepless nights, those filled with nightmares that woke me up swimming in my own sweat and crying out for someone to care. I nursed myself when I was sick, only I controlled my life and the way I lived it. I put myself through school and fed and clothed myself. And I hustled until I was able to become manager of a CD shop. I put myself on Serenity. I control what happens to my life. But that was a story that I did not want to revisit today so I continued walking.

As I strolled down Serenity, past the CD shop, past the church, and past the beautifully lined trees and well manicured men and women walking their beautifully groomed and neutered dogs, I realized that non of them would never be like me; Free.
I reached the bar on the intersection of fourth and serenity and walked in without a second thought.

“Hey Carl,” yelled Tony the bartender from behind the counter. “How’s it going man? What do you want, the usual?” he asked. Tony and I had grown up together, supporting each other during the hard times. Gone through the same foster home bullshit and we both ran away from them all, refusing the abuse that often came with those places.

“Nah, give me a bottle of Jack, Tony. I feel like celebrating!” I exclaimed, with a big smile on my face. I knew he could sense that something was wrong but that’s what I’ve always loved about Tony; he never asked questions. He grabbed a bottle from the shelf, put it in a brown paper bag, and slid it across the counter. When I reached for the bottle, though, he pulled my arm, looked me in the eyes, and said, “It’s on me, but Carl, be careful man. You become someone else when you drink.”

“Sure thing Tony,” I said, as I walked out of the bar--my eyes glazing over in sudden realization of what he was implying--as I stepped once again into the odd amber-green glow of the sky. I walked about two blocks and entered the pharmacy. It wasn’t that big but it had been a part of the neighborhood for many years. In this store, were my true friends: Vicodin, Hydrocodone, and the sleeping pills… All of them, they took me away from my sorrows. Once again, I came to my old friends, in need of something that would keep my current state of bliss permanent. I perused all the aisles, oblivious to onlooker’s stares and concern.

I had a mission to complete.

When I found the perfect new friend I walked up to the check-out counter, where a sign begged, Please have your money ready. I fished in my pockets, suddenly aware of forgotten pennies and dimes; I was prepared, the conveyor belt sounding its familiar hum, making me dizzy.

“Six dollars,” Charlotte said, as I put the bottle of aspirin in my pocket; no need for a bag. She smiled, said, “Have a nice day sweetie!”

I responded, “Yea, that’s the plan,” then I walked out the door and made my way back to my house and into my car, with Jack Daniels and my bottle of sleeping pills promising to take me to heaven.

I was no longer thinking as I merged onto the highway and pried open the bottle of aspirin, emptying its contents down my throat. “Wash it down with a bit of Jack and Serenity will never escape,” I muttered to myself and laughed out loud.


  1. smc said...
    me 1
    smc said...
    I can't believe that I am first...AND SECOND
    BlackRose said...
    and am third...
    Not bunz AT all(quite disappointin)
    smc said...
    At first, I liked the fact that this is the first story that had a direct link to the one immediately before it, but then the narrative style is quite weak. Too much of an attempt to make it seem gangsterish.

    So Carl commits suicide? Or does he now? I am really not sure about this whole thing anymore. What should be a convoluted but intriguing link of different stories suddenly shows gaps of weakness.

    Am I still in the top 5 postings? Guess I am.
    femme fatale said...
    6th!!! Not sure how i feel about this story...
    Shubby Doo said...
    I think i need a whole bottle of jack daniels 2 wash this down now...still don't know enough about carl 2 understand or really care about his plight...both he and toyosi (and the father) like 2 do it with guys but with carl it is subconsciously? Hmmm...someone needs 2 write tony's story. Wait a mo...ceecee has a son many more?
    SMC said...
    @ Shubby Doo, Carl is Clara's son.
    30+ said...
    Wow so Carl has committed suicide, the death toll rises.

    Yes o we need to hear from Tony.

    And it's ok if he is not gay, a sex freak and does not die.
    30+ said...
    Lol at Shubby doo, Clara is a street woman now so no surprise that she has more than 1.
    fantasy queen said...
    wow, carls some troubled man in an atmosphere of blissful denial...
    hope he really commited suicide, not a nice thought, but then, thats the best thing he could do for himself.
    Shubby Doo said...
    Lol @30+. Your last line about tony not being gay, a sex freak or not dying is 2 funny. Gotta's sat night i got a date with jack daniels 2 keep ; -p
    Mz. Dee said...
    Evil.. datz wat i fink bout wen i read this..
    Carl is a pretty disturbed person o..soundz lyk Tbag in prison break.
    Anonymous said...
    I think it's quite clear that most of these writers thus far are great independently.

    However, if the aim of this blogging project was to weave the independent stories together,then that aim has not been executed perfectly. The links between the stories are vague, easily broken and becoming even more distressingly convoluted.

    I don't like that the story lacks a sense of "Nigerianism", if you will.

    Pity. Kudos for the attempt, anyway.
    africa entertainment and sports said...
    I read every word,but ended up blank.Maybe time will reveal...
    Pink-satin said...
    no 15!i tried
    bumight said...
    I'm getting increasingly lost as I read all the stories, but that's just me. I plan to come back when everybody is done.

    I liked the way you took one of the existing characters and developed it, not a mean task

    @smc: did u think maybe the character was meant to be gangsterish?
    Anonymous said...
    @ smc u really feel like one critic abi!please let us see one of your own stories o!

    the stories dont necessarily tie but this is a writing experiment and i think all you writers have done well thus is not an easy task!
    Anonymous said...
    i have a feeling carl wont die!
    Kayode said...
    Been reading from the beginning and taking it all in, and while I commend this project and find it enthralling, it's a little sad that it essentially revolves around the trendy themes of adultery, homosexuality, drug use, etc. Granted, these are not artificial constructs and they do define as many lives as there are people, but I don't think anything particularly new or interesting has been done with these themes and the idea of marathon, inter-linked stories made this project interesting at the beginning but I think the appeal has started to tarnish for me. All in all, very well done to the writers and thank you for sharing your talent with us. Maybe I just prefer you as stand-alone bundles of creativity.
    Kayode said...
    the idea of marathon, inter-linked stories made this project interesting at the beginning...alas, the appeal has started to tarnish for me.
    dat one okrika said...
    hmm so Carl commits suicide? interesting.
    Anonymous said...
    You paint a picture of the complex and doomed xter that Carl is. Also the link with Clara is good. I commend you for that.

    But I agree with one of the anon comments that narration is not an easy technique. The conversation flowed more but seemed like excerpts from a gangstar movie script.

    I second another comment that all 14th and serenity pieces so far (apart from Allied's) could do with a bit of Nigerianism. It's as if consciously or sub-conciously the writers are choosing to avoid being identified as Nigerian.

    We should celebrate who we are despite our western consciousness. When we don't, it makes our writings sterile and lack depth.
    Anonymous said...
    The line up is amazing and it started really well. It is now at risk of loosing its way.i am a little concerned about this.

    A lot of people reading appreciate all the individual writing styles coming to the table but the majority of the people that will read this are not writers or literally critics. I am one of these readers.

    I love a story. I was 1st to find my seat at ‘tales by the moonlight’ was about to start. I was the one who shouted the loudest ‘story’ in reply when I heard the words ‘story, story’.

    I understand that to set up a story, we need to get to be introduced to the characters but with nearly every story (apart from Ah22’s, Carlang, jaja and NDQ’s) a new angry character is thrown in. At 1st I was thinking ‘gen gen’ but by 5th time I find it tiresome. I cannot relate to them that they are gay or murderous or drug addicts. So okay maybe I can relate to the sex fiend part. No explanation is given as to why they are angry and few are developed sufficiently.

    Please I am begging future writers to start to humanise these people.

    Connect with your audience. Allied did this with Nigerian characters. Carlang did this with fairly tales. We need a connection.

    Please pick a focus. Your audience needs to understand what the common objective is or else it becomes chaotic for them. Who are the main protagonists of this project and who are their foils? An obvious one is Clara.

    The premise of 14th & Serenity was billed as ‘where stories collide’. You cannot have a collection of independent stories under a project without a theme. What are the effects of these collisions? Who survives them and who doesn’t? But most importantly why?

    Remember that the only reason why a person’s problems or joys have a huge effect is because they belong to them! Show me why I should care about these people.

    Also nobody is tying up the loose threads which is a shame because by the there are some really interesting ones like the the Nigeria girl in allied’s story, the priest in ah22’s story, the twins in boorish male’s story etc...

    If the locality is the only theme then consider giving 14th street a character itself by humanising it. Show me how this place is consciously manipulating and destroying people’s lives that inhabit it (or the lives of people that just even pass through it. Toyosi is a good example of this but again his story is implied not told!!!). Show me how it a normal person enters this place and gets trapped. Ah22 implied it with the priest but the only person that has managed to get this across is NDQ with Clara. While there she was in hell. She left and she is happy. Make 14th street come alive

    I am only trying to be constructive here to help. I understand the concept of a writer’s prerogatives. Feel free to ignore.
    Anonymous said...
    @ anon 12:41 it was overwhelmed that penned clara's story not ndq. Agree with your comments and others above but not the ganster one by smc sha.
    Parakeet said...
    So weirdos do exist? na wa. Killed 5 people in 48 hours or less than. God help the world!
    Anonymous said...
    Perhaps the identity of this thing is about 'gay, sex freaked murderers'. Just bcos it is 4rm 9ja writers doesn't mean a nigerian aspect is needed 2 give it depth. Can't we just celebrate their work? I think we can. I know it is a scary thot but maybe we should just trust the writers. Lets wait & see how it all turns out.
    Naapali said...
    @ anon June 8 12:41

    Your comment shows that you care and that is very welcome. You touch on many points, I hope I can address some here.

    One central theme in your comments (and in those of many others) has been the lack of continuity and/or a central theme. The former is by design the latter needs refinement. The a priori aim was not to serialize the stories but instead to have independent stories that overlap, coalesce around the neighborhood 14th and Serenity. I take it from your post that the earlier posts achieved that aim of independent yet overlapping stories. We are only halfway through the line-up so I urge some patience about the perceived shortcomings of the project as a whole especially regarding the clarity of the connecting theme that binds them.

    I believe the recent writers have taken into account a lot of the earlier feedback as evidenced by the revisiting of characters introduced by earlier writers in every subsequent story. In any true neighborhood interactions may not be more intimate than casually bumping into each other in a narrow lane at night.

    This is an experiment in fiction/blogging and like any true experiment the purpose is not only to conduct it but to learn from the results. The results being the stories told and the feedback from the audience. Unlike most other media, this one allows immediate, frank and direct audience response.
    This has been very refreshing and I am sure also ego boosting/shattering often simultaneously.

    Your concerns and those of many others are well noted and appreciated and hopefully will affect the final outcome of this work in progress.

    PS I assume you meant ONB and not NDQ regarding Clara's story.
    Pink-satin said...
    I just want to say you writers are doing a great job!and i really commend you is not easy especially with comments from the self acclaimed citics

    why do people tie everything to not being NIGERIAN enough!!!..Adultery & homosexualism,pastors sleeping around does exist in NIGERIA!!!!we only manage to sweep it under the carpet and act like they do not exist!!
    NigerianDramaQueen said...
    @Anon 12.41: I wish I could take credit for Overwhelmed Naija Babe’s incredible writing skills, but I can’t unfortunately. I am quite flattered that you would confuse us ...but she is a far better writer than I am. Thank you though
    I want to start this by acknowledging every single writer. It takes some guts to put your work out there and be susceptible to comparison and criticism. Like Pink Satin noted-there are quit a few self acclaimed critics who never have anything good to say. I don’t know if I have the guts for that yet. Most of us here on blogsville are use to writing about our lives-so transitioning to story telling would be hard. Every writer has managed to show their individuality in his/her story-and that is to be commended. From every post-there has been at least one line that I loved-and that’s the truth.
    However, we do need to thank every commenter, who has been bold enough to give constructive criticism in seas of praise. As Naapali pointed out-this is an experiment. With every experiment, it is important to learn what works and what doesn’t in order to improve.
    I think the idea of independent stories with a central theme was genius. However, having them overlap was not so great. If each story is to be independent, it should be just that-sharing only the common thread of fourteenth and serenity. If it is to be based on continuity-then so be it. Having them overlap is a bit confusing however-and a lot of us seem to be increasingly confused, especially first time readers. I think we can all agree however, that each post stands very well on it’s on. They could just do without shared characters.
    I would have to agree with Kayode: the central themes seem to be adultery, homosexuality, drug use, etc. While they are all subject matters that are relevant-they are becoming redundant. There are several other subject matters that can and should be explored. Furthermore, I would have to agree with Anonymous 11.16am. While every story does not have to be heavily Nigerian-as there are readers who are not Nigerian-we have to admit that a majority of the writers and readers (at least 90%) are Nigerians-whether in the diaspora or in the motherland. I think this is part of the reason why we all enjoyed Allied’s ‘Scorned’.
    I have enjoyed 14th and Serenity and become addicted to it but in truth, my interest is dwindling. I was raised to never give problems without offering solutions. So perhaps:
    1. We could start fresh from here. Maybe the new writers can forget about the aforementioned characters like Carl, Toyosi, etc, and just give us independent stories.
    2. Perhaps they don’t have to be stories. Maybe the writers could even share personal experiences if they can tie in the theme of 14th and Serenity somehow.
    These are just suggestions/personal observations-that can and should be ignored if necessary. I do want to commend Catwalq for coming up with this. It has made Blogsville very interesting. I look forward to reading the upcoming posts...
    Pink-satin said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    Anonymous said...
    i feel sorry for the writer of this last thread -rayo. as his/her thread is being used as a forum to discuss the apparent weaknesses of 14th and serenity... you obviously are not one of the very popular one's or else this would have been ignored and you'll get sycophantic comments that some of your weaker predecessors recieved; even where it was apparent that their thread was weak. you've done well. but constructive criticism is needed to move forward esp. criticism from your fellow writers.
    Mocha said...
    isnt Carl supposed to be 17??
    And how was he able to get alcohol that easy and pills without a prescription?
    And he grew up with Tony?? How old is Tony?

    Great effort but I dont know how I feel about this story..too many loose ends..
    bumight said...
    I have to agree with anonymous 6:50pm (didnt think the day would come!) I think too many people are attacking Rayo because she is not one of the more popular writers.

    From what is on ground, I think Rayo has done a very good job because introducing new characters without developing the ones on ground would make this piece continuously confusing.

    That was what made overwhelmed's piece brilliant. same thing with boorish and catwalq's

    we still dont have a complete picture about Toy, cos I think Toy still has a story to tell.

    @Anon 11:16AM: who said the story had to be nigerian.

    I think the stories are 'colliding" sure, we are just not getting the collision.

    I suggest we wait till the end before taking people apart. patience, my dear!
    NigerianDramaQueen said...
    @Rayo: Truly sorry that your post has been used to discuss problems that are not your fault! I apologize...
    Baroque said...
    as for people like me that have none of such expectations like the niajaness or the direct connections between stories, i think this was a very good story by Rayo...who cares if Carl was 17, did it look like Charlotte had issues giving him the drugs??? guys write whatsoever you damn well please...more grease to una wrists, biko
    naijalines said...
    Hmmm... this is difficult looking at both sides of the coin being presented to speak.

    It seems unfair to hijack one writer's post to make all the negative comments. I think NDQ's comments puts the main points across quite succintly.

    Some of us are learning a lot from this unique project. The writers should be commended for giving us the opportunity. What's been said about central themes, naijaness and the overlapping of stories are all essential points to take on board. Like Naapali said it's a work in progress. The writers are learning from the experience and so are we.

    Like any other work of Art, writing or the appreciation of it is always a subjective exercise. Criticism is only constructive (and effective) when it highlights not only weaknesses but strengths.

    Rayo, you have done a good job on Carl and his background. Whatever else has been said, that's a fact.
    Soul said...
    People... Haba!
    Let the writers finish the stories they are telling.

    There are still a few more writers left in thse series.
    REmember the formula is not broken, it is just incomplete. and would do every one some good to just be patient and let the writers write the way they want to write.
    If you don't like this portion of the stor, fine, express that and move on, but stop trying to dictate the story or what you think is missing from the series now at this point.

    LEt the story lead you, open your minds and get inside the writers story, soo what if it's about gangsta bitches and ho's?.

    Ever remember reading a book and not liking a chapter that yoou skip it? then later on in the book you start to realise that chapter was the essence of the story and you have to go back to it.

    There are stories here that they are trying to get across, let them.. stop nitpicking their everywords.
    Sheer courtesy demands that you wait till the end to begin to dictate how you would have done it.
    At least let them will make Serenity and 14th all the more stronger for it.

    And in all seriousness some of you critics need to volunteer for the simple fact that it seems you guys have a story to tell and can tell it. DOn't hold it back, share your talents with us.

    If you are good at putting the ideas together and not fleshing the story out.. fine, let's create a space to hook you up with a co-writer.

    but please..
    be patient, stop suggessting plots and character developments.. which might be eating into what the following writers are going to do It is ruining things for many of us.
    Mocha said...
    My bad..thought there was supposed to be honest feedback.
    Smaragd said...
    *inserts applause*

    better, contrary to my feeling of being lost on the last post, this story put a lot of things in perspective for me!

    1. there is a mention of 14th (i think "fourth" was a mistake yea?) and serenity.

    2. we now know who Carl is

    3. there is a mention of a more popular xter, Clara. and it's understandable that her son would turn out like that (though i'd have preferred Kayadunza as the

    4. even though the killings are getting too much for me, at least here the killer gets to commit suicide ...hopefully.

    the only downside for me is that, in this story, 14th and serenity sounds like a calm place as opposed to the pimps, hos and druggies paradise that i read earlier.

    but then again, maybe 14th street is the bad street and Serenity avenue is the suburbia.

    good job Rayo.
    Afrobabe said...
    He's gone mad..killing people left right and centre...

    ….Rayo babes, good write up…where have u been???

    So not fair, you just vanished…
    guerreiranigeriana said...
    ...i enjoyed this read rayo!...

    ...for those offering cricism, it may be a little early as the project has not been completed yet...
    Catwalq said...
    1. I think this was well written.

    1b. I think most people are expecting something here along the lines of written projects delivered by other bloggers where it is one story, less than five characters and chapter installments written by just one person. This has twelve writers, multiple interwoven stories over two and a half weeks.

    2. Please do not expect the writers to feed you the story. This is not a children's book. Take your time to decipher what you have read. if you need to, return to the beginning. Like a good book/movie/work of art, it is not something you glance through on your lunch break. Make it a treat not just for you but also for your mind to immerse yourself in the story.

    3. Every story has connected back as has been demanded of the writer. The styles vary and thus the delivery of the content. Look at each project independently first and then as part of the bigger fabric
    Rayo said...
    To those who commended me on a job well done, thank you for taking the time to understand my work and where I was going with it.

    Yes, I understand that it is not normal way of writing. I have never proclaimed myself to be an author but a poet and therefore there are many hidden messages and meanings in this work. That being said, to those who did not take the time to fully comprehend the message I was trying to convey, please go back and read the story before making comments on things you don't understand.

    Like Catwalq and others have mentioned, we are 12 DIFFERENT author with 12 DIFFERENT styles of writing.
    Anonymous said...
    Writers should generally welcome the opportunity 2 give people a better insight on their work. Timeless pieces of literature have stood the test of time bcos line by line they work if their meanings are implicit or not. I know i've studied different styles in different languages. if i and others read something & after the 10th time we still come up with nothing, it doesn't mean we have a child like minds. I'm sorry but the supposed double meanings were posed in a way that was lost 2 the majority of your readers. That is a fault no matter the style because none of the above comments show the anybody could decipher it. The structure was good, the direction was good but was analogy was just not clear. Nice effort but either something simply went slightly wrong or u aimed a well written piece on the wrong target audience.
    Mocha said...
    I absolutely agree with anonymous 9.04.

    I dont think anyone should be admonished for having THEIR OWN interpretation of the stories.
    I will go as far as to assume that the collaborative writers did not expect everyone to recieve the stories the exact way they intended.

    And I dont think anyone should be patronised for having an opinion either: I dont think anyone ever have even imagined this would in anyway begin to THINK of being a children's story book in the slightest.

    I think the writers should not only expect praise but should also expect criticism and welcome it as an opportunity for growth (corny I know, but true..)

    That said, I re-read the story as suggested by several people on here and I havent changed my opinion.

    And I'll reiterate that I have a lot of respect for these and every writer who puts themselves out there, stripped and honest regardless of possible mis-interpretation or mis-comprehension.
    Respecting that everyone IS entitled to their own opinion and that though it may not be what they want to hear? If constructive, the feedback would most definitely be helpful.

    That said, I'd like to enjoin everyone who comments to keep it clean, impersonal and constructive because there's a definite difference between constructive criticism and offensive report.

    Let's not take away from the awesome talentedness of this effort. And if you dont want any feedback at all then disable the comment function altogether.

    Encourage and appreciate.

    Ms Sula said...
    I would have to agree with Soul!

    Why are we trying to dictate OUR vision on an author creativity? How many of us get the chance to tell an author that we didn't like their books?

    It's all supposed to be a creative endeavor. It's one thing not to like something (and say so) or lose interest even... It's an entire thing altogether to want to have it a certain way.

    If everything that did not "remind us of our lives" had to be deemed not good or not creative, then the world of literature/art would have been a pretty sad and boring place.

    Great job Rayo. I liked the rythmic nature of the paragraphs and the attempt at explaining the psyche behind Car's behavior.

    Good job!
    Soul said...

    I agree with you, of course we all have our own interpretations, and critique as well a praise is all good.
    The problem is that people are suggesting plotlines and stuff along with their critique and their are still a bunch of writers who have to deliver their stories..

    The only problem is the critique is turning negative and damn near rude very quickly.
    Anyway I see ur point sha.
    Atutupoyoyo said...
    Rayo. You are a Seinfeld fan? I was tempted to use that title as well.
    uNWrItten* said...
    ok i get it carl is carla's son...shocking lol..
    nice 1 tho
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